You MTHFRing vegan

If you have read any of my recent anything, it should come as no surprise that I am in therapy. As I may be starting DBT in the near future, I thought it would be important to find a therapist who I feel I can work with long term, so I have started 'shopping around'. My experience with my current therapist and the health goals it has lead to have turned out to be beneficial, even if they were indirect.

This therapist is a little on the alternate side. In the first session I was informed that she takes a holistic approach and that diet and physical health should also be discussed in our sessions, which I had no issue with. I agree that the body's health can play a major role in mental wellbeing so this seemed sensible to me. In our second session, I was asked a series of yes/no questions about my general wellbeing, both physically and mentally. Long story short, my answers apparently indicated that I may have a MTHFR genetic mutation...

Sounds serious, what does it mean? I was told that this mutation could be identified with a blood test (this is true), but many GPs would probably not know enough to accurately interpret the results (mmm...). I could be referred to a GP who specialises in this issue. While the initial session was pricey ($400), subsequent session were more reasonable. If that was not affordable, a naturopath could certainly interpret the results (warning bells). I said I would do some research and think about my options.

The Basics

I am far from a geneticist, but from what I can gather the MTHFR gene helps turn folate and B12 into something the body can use (Click here to read a more sciencey and correct explanation). According to Genetics Home Reference there are at least 40 known mutations of the gene. I have read different statistics, but it seems a large proportion of people have a mutation (40% seems most consistent). This can have any number of impacts on the body, as you would imagine if your body is not receiving or using necessary vitamins or minerals. In my particular case, it is assumed this mutation would be causing or influencing my depressed mood, fatigue, PCOS and possibly most signs of ill health that I have.

My Research

The first result when you google will be mthfrsupport.com.au. This site offers some simple explanation about what the MTHFR gene and folate does. It lists all the possible conditions that the mutation could cause. They have videos and information available, some for free and some at a cost. For many people who have received the diagnosis, I'm sure the support offered through a group like this is a useful tool in facilitating lifestyle changes.

But that wasn't really enough for me so I kept looking. Generally speaking, there is a lot of information out there which is both interesting and conflicting. The jury is out in regards to how or if MTHFR mutations correlate directly to depression or other mental health issues (Click here for a scientific review on current research). The impact of B vitamins on mental wellbeing is generally accepted (fun fact, folate is B9), so an issue in the body's production is bound to lead to some health concerns- the same as with any other vitamin deficiency. Although nothing I read is as dire as alternate health circles seem to promote, there is a 'watch this space' vibe in relation to the research that is being done. The American Journal of Epidemiology, for example, note that a connection between the MTHFR variant and certain mental illnesses may lead to the use of folate as a treatment and preventative measure. It also may not, but if it doesn't, at least we will know. I love when potential is explored!

Where to now?

Yes, after my research I am open to the possibility that a genetic mutation may be contributing to my currently poor mental and physical wellbeing (family history and past experience also add to my consideration). I am not, however, convinced that this is the root cause of every woe that has or will befall upon me. Humans are an intricate web of biology, emotion, experience and environment. Different triggers lead to different results for all of us, even on a genetic level. I am also far from convinced by the industry that has built up around it. People are spending exorbitant amounts of money to be tested, see specialists and receive treatment. Did I really need to embark on such a journey to get healthy and escape the clutches of the MTHFRing gene?

I've decided on no. According to Science Based Medicine, high homocysteine and low folate levels can indicate a mutation and both can be checked with blood tests. Even if you go the extra mile and get genetic tests, NSW Health state that "there are currently no recommended changes in clinical management based on an MTHFR test result."

Regardless of who you see, the answer to low folate and/or B12 will be supplementation, with or without a genetic mutation. If there is a deficiency in folate or B12, levels should be monitored by a professional because too much can cause as many problems as too little. I'm pretty confident my bulk billed doctor can help with that. The debate is still raging for me in regards to folic acid vs activated folic acid. Methylfolate currently makes sense, but I haven't found much research on it yet. You can google the meanings of that yourself.

A change in diet and lifestyle habits may be just as effective and will have other positive health outcomes. While researching, I found that chickpeas, spinach, dried beans and lentils are top sources of folate, which reminded me of how good I felt when I did the 30 day vegan challenge a couple of years ago. I had a lot more energy, lost excess weight and my skin was so clear. Coincidently, my food staples at the time were chickpeas, spinach and lentils, all the high sources of folate. The positive results were no doubt due to increased vegetable intake and reduction of processed foods, but the possibility that a higher intake of folate helped is not lost on me.

Nom, Chickpeas

So I am experimenting with my body, taking it back to basics and testing how I feel, starting with a 30 day modified vegan challenge (I'm going to eat eggs, don't want to make it too unachievable). I may or may not have the MTHFR genetic mutation, but I am certain that I will benefit from a healthier diet. I will be getting a blood test done next week to see where I am at with folate and B12 and work from there.

For all those who have had positive results by chasing the MTHFR specialist route, I'm happy for you. If you feel better, have a more fulfilling life and absolutely incredible results, then you should be happy. For those at the start who choose to take that path, I hope you have equally great results too, I do not underestimate the value of support networks when making lifestyle changes. If you are reading this and something resonates with you, don't just do what I am doing either. Go and do the research yourself to find what will work for you. If you think seeing specialists is the best way to tackle the changes you need to make, then do it, but don't just follow their lead blindly. Read, research and take charge of the direction you want your life to go in. The people you pay to help you should be worth your money. I'll be sure to keep you updated on  my progress, because even if it fails it is a lesson learnt.

And of course, discuss! If you have ideas, thoughts or related articles to share, lets do this. Nothing bad can come out of a conversation (unless we make it bad, in which case I'll delete all my posts and comments and run away from the internet).

Ask RUOK? again and again and again

What began as a post to ease myself into some vulnerability about expressing opinions turned into an epic rant (don't worry, below is the edited version, chapter 1). Turns out I have some strong opinions surrounding social structures...that ultimately leads to an opinion of 'but it is what it is'. I wish there was succinct way to express why that opinion is not passive, but as my writing skills are still developing I think it will be have to explained gradually over many posts.

To the point- Today is RUOK day, so it seemed appropriate to begin posts discussing my own mental health. I'm not going to talk too much about my history (you can read a little teeny bit about it here), instead I'm going to talk about where I am with it now.

I am coming to this post following a long period of frustration about how my mental health has been handled. Although not ideal, I also think that I would not be at a point of taking my mental wellbeing into my own hands if it had not been for the spectrum of experiences I have had to date. Like many, I have been in and out of therapy for years. Usually I would land in therapy during crisis, I would stay there until I was functioning again, then I wouldn't know what to do with my therapist after that point so I would leave. This occurred either within the ten free sessions offered under the medicare system, or just after, when the outcome was not justifying the out of pocket expense. Also, like many, I was offered medication during these times and reminded to 'do things I enjoy' and 'get some exercise'. I have no criticism of this process, these are a combination of methods that have been proven effective in supporting people through depression. There were times in my life when this process pushed me through.

However, this has been a cycle where I was being treated for a symptom, not the cause. It has taken repeated trips to many professionals over many years for someone to pull all the pieces together. Now I am starting a process to work on the core issues.

Part of my healing means to let myself express my feelings, and I can't help but feel let down. There are reasons why it has played out this way and logically I know I am very lucky to live in the country I do and have even received the treatment I have had, but I still feel that initial pain of being let down. After all these years of struggling, I have questions. Why was a personality disorder not identified before? Why was I not offered more extensive therapy, like DBT, prior to this? Why was medication always pushed but other techniques were not?

I (like everyone) try to console myself by thinking that I would not have been ready for a program like DBT any earlier, that this timing is right and for it to happen any earlier would have proven ineffective. I can't really know that though, I may have responded well to it ten years ago and could have lead a very different life as a result (oh, but then I wouldn't have met such and such or experienced that thing that made me happy that one time... I love watching my mind try to make me feel better ^_^).

The truth is I am here now, I have this opportunity now, and I want to make the most of it now while I can. I am fortunate (while seething with white middle class guilt) that I have parents who can support me temporarily while things are set in motion. I am fortunate that I have people who have come into my life that are capable of understanding. I have a job where management not only identified that I was struggling, but also have given me the time that I need to get things back on track- for this I am fortunate, but I will take credit in knowing that I work hard, am good at my job and have made myself an asset who deserves to be well cared for by my workplace. I would be a fool to not harness all the aces in my hand during this dark time, but I didn't figure that out until recently.

It has been a lifetime in the making, but I am in a place to get the help I have needed for years because people took the time to ask. They didn't just as once on one day, they asked repeatedly because they saw something was off despite the fact that I kept saying 'I'm fine'. Let today be the first time you ask, but also make it a reminder to keep asking. It can take a lot more than one question to open a door that has been sealed shut.

To all those who asked, even if I lied in response, thank you. Because of you, I am still here.

As I said earlier, my original rant was very insightful (for me) regarding some of my opinions about use of medication in treatment of depression, systems surrounding mental healthcare, socio-economic structures and a few other bits (loooooonnnngggg rant). I have saved the draft and will work through editing and sharing those ideas over the next couple of weeks, there is no way I would bombard you with all that in one post. I have some interesting writing to look forward to.

Tate Watercolour Manual

I've spent a few minutes today wondering what my first post back should be about. Obviously I would want it to be insightful, witty and on the pulse. I also thought about how it should be nothing like a buzzfeed article, yet still be able to draw in that clickbait (impossible, buzzfeed is clickbait entirely because of how it is written).

After that little bit of contemplation, I accepted that I wasn't going to put that much thought or proof reading into any of my posts, so instead I'm going to post about art, because today I did art.

I went on an overseas trip recently and was able to take a day to go to the Tate Britain Gallery in London. Before I left for the trip I had picked up an interest in watercolour, so cause and effect lead me to purchase the Tate Watercolour Manual while I was there. I bought it because it seemed a nice way for me to make a statement of my artistic desires, fuelled by the day of inspiration at the gallery. Usually items like that go on my bookshelf of good intentions, but it has turned out to be a great and really practical purchase.

The book starts with a clear introduction to the history of watercolour. This includes how the paints, paper and paintbrushes were originally created and used, and how they evolved into the forms we know today. Written simply and succinctly, I was surprised at how this little bit of knowledge helped when I started playing with the medium.

The exercises were easy to follow, giving a chance to play with colour mixing and becoming familiar with how watercolours work (sparking a new found interest in the skill of colour mixing- black and yellow makes green???). The authors suggest coming back to these exercises often, treating them like drills to develop skills, which I definitely will do. By the end of the exercises, which took me only a couple of enjoyable hours, I had a range of images that simultaneously made me feel like I had been successful while wanting to do it all again in hopes of creating something better.

The final exercise was a practice scenery, so I had something to put on the fridge and gloat about as an example of my afternoon's work.

I made this

The next stage of the book takes you through work of the Masters, showing techniques so that they can be mimicked and replicated. No doubt I'll be showing these as I work through the book, I'll probably be really proud of them considering how excited I am even a small scenery exercise.

Tomorrow will be an appointment with a new psychologist. If I continue with the trend from today I will be talking mental health tomorrow.

Whipit back to the drawing board

Whipit is getting started up again with some new direction. Click here for updates and watch this space for new blog posts.